A&M Is Delusional, Part Infinity

Surely, they can't be serious. As we all well know, the Texas A&M job might as well be available. Current head-coach Dennis Franchione is almost guaranteed to be fired/bought out at the end of the season. In that vein, Aggie Coach has begun the search in earnest. Now, while this site isn't an official reflection of the A&M coaching search, it does reflect the ludicrousness of the entire fan-base.

Here are some of the "candidates"...

Jon Gruden
Jeff Tedford
Bo Pelini
Tommy Tuberville
Bill Cowher

..and last, but not least...

Rich Rodriguez

Here is what Aggie Coach has to say about CRR:

Rich Rodriguez, West Virginia: At age 44, Rodriguez is rumored to be at the top of A&M's short list. Last year he was recruited ahead of Nick Saban by Alabama before turning down their $2 million per year offer. He took a laid back culture similar to College Station's and lacking football program, turning it into a BCS contender. He is the right age and pedigree. WVU is on track again for another 11+ win season and BCS bid. Has the intensity to outrecruit the likes of OU's Bob Stoops, LSU's Les Miles and UT's Mack Brown. He would be the biggest hiring news of the 2007 football season. See his bio here. Making $1.3 million, he is considered one of the top 5 most underpaid coaches. He turned down $2 million from Alabama last year. See another bio here and the YouTube.com video called "This is West Virginia Football." He also has his own website at CoachRod.com.

I agree with all of these things. What I don't see is why CRR would turn down Alabama, by far the biggest coaching job in the South, then run and take the Texas A&M job, which is automatically the the second-fiddle in its own state. Apparently, the only people that can see this happening are A&M fans.

If I were A&M, I would spend a little less time focusing on the 12th man and a little more time on the first 11.

[thanks to bringONtheEERS for the tip]

Louisville Game Recap

Forgive me father, for I am about to sin...

Well, that certainly was a steaming pile of dog shit, wasn't it? Surely, none of us have witnessed a more poorly conceived effort than the one that CRR put together Thursday night. It's like he popped a couple Xanax and lost all ability for creative thought (and consciousness). Seriously, what was that?

1. What was with the 71 consecutive Pat White runs straight up the middle? (I haven't rewatched the game, so I don't know the exact number). It's like CRR's play-calling shrinks significantly when we're facing a test. At some point, you can tell he's actively trying not to lose, rather than to win. To me, this is embarrassing. The last thing a top 10 program does is play not to lose, at home, to a 17 point underdog. You just don't do it. You step on their throat from the word go and blow them out of the damn stadium. When we took the 17 point lead, that's what should have happened. Instead, we played grab-ass for the next 15 minutes. What a fucking joke.


2. Where is Steve Slaton? Outside of the Sugar Bowl, has there ever been a worse big-game player in a Mountaineer uniform? Last year, he put the ball on the turf over-and-over against Louisville and then delivered a whopping 43 yards against South Florida. This year, he has averaged 62.3 yards in our three biggest games (South Florida, Rutgers, and Louisville). It's obvious that Rodriguez doesn't trust him in important situations, which is saying a lot when you're talking about a former Heisman trophy candidate.


3. Don't let Owen Schmitt punt. Just don't. If you're going to go for it on 4th down, go for it. If not, trot McAfee out there and let him punt. He is the fucking punter for God's sake. I can't get mad at Owen Schmitt as it's his job to be a fullback, not a punter. This one, as always, falls on CRR. And while I'm at it, we were lucky to get 9 yards on that punt. It traveled 3 at the most.


4. Noel Devine must play more. There's just no way around this. Everytime he touches the ball, the entire stadium holds its breath. Not because he might fumble, as is the case with Slaton, but because he might break a run or somebody's ankles. He's a game-changer, both with score and momentum. That kick-return was just another example of this. If Slaton is busy throwing up on himself in big games, give the kid a chance. He's only the most heralded recruit in Mountaineer history.

So that's about it. If you saw me after the game, you almost undoubtedly told me a "win is a win." I then undoubtedly wanted to punch you in the face. I came pretty close a couple times, too. If you want to be one of the best of the best, a win is never a win. Style points always count. Walk into the stadium, no matter who the opponent, and fuck them up. Easy as that.

Now, we need to get that memo to CRR.

Rodriguez's Job Is Safe

In the latest update of the Coaches Hot Seat Ranking, we're told that apparently Coach Rodriguez's job is safe...for now. Rodriguez checks in at 106th out of 120 current Div. I-A head coaches (I'll be damned if I ever call it the Football Bowl Subdivision).

Rodriguez trails some memorable names like Jim Tressel (120 out of 120), Steve Spurrier (119/120), Jim Leavitt (115/120) and Mack Brown (107/120). Personally, I believe Mack Brown will always be on a hotter seat than Rich Rodriguez, national championship and all.

Unfortunately for them, we also see some familiar faces towards the top of the list. Greg Robinson is in trouble (17/120), Mark Snyder is screwed (11/120), and Dave Wannstedt is just plain fucked (7/120).

Hey, at least he's not Houston Nutt.

Down the Stretch They Come

Here is a thought-provoking email I received:

Was bored yesterday watching pro football and rewatched the USF game for some reason. As your (Note: That's me) confidence indicated before the game, we really had no business losing to that team. Very painful to rewatch but for some reason I could not turn it off even knowing the train wreck that was coming. Turnovers and poor game plan the cause. Everytime we ran right at them, we had good to great success yet we only did it 4-6 times. Rod gets very stubborn against these guys for some reason. Same thing last year when he ran Slaton wide to the right seemingly 40 times for no gain. Most telling thing their D coordinator said after the game was that he did not change his game plan one ounce from last year. After the TD drive we gave up on their first drive in the 2nd half, we spent the rest of the half on their side of the field and had 10 points to show for it. I am telling you that ball never crossed our 40 again the rest of the game. That is 25 minutes of time spent on their side of the field and only 10 points.

I know everybody seems to think an 11-1 mark is all but in the books, but we have 4 damn tough games in the next month. This game this weekend will be a lot closer than Vegas is giving it credit for being. I will take 24.5 and Miss St any day. Then we go to Rutgers, play an improving and very dangerous Card team at home and finish up the stretch with maybe our second toughest road game of the season at Cincy. We could easily lose 2 games in that stretch if we do not play very good football.

Syracuse Game Recap

There isn't that much to say about the game, except that this was WVU's best overall performance of the season. However, I'm going to make you all suffer through a game recap (editor's note: fuck!).

The defense stepped up and played a great game after initially looking pretty shaky. I think a girl would compare this defense to me after a night of heavy whiskey drinking. Initially, things are looking pretty sketchy but in the end I turn out to be a very solid performer.

Pat White went down with another injury but he has the heart of champion and should be ready to go against Mississippi State. As I noted during my halftime post, I was keeping track of CRR's play-calling and I was extremely pleased. We had a balanced attack with the run and pass. CRR even took some shots down the field (9 to be exact).

I still think CRR plays it conservative because he doesn't totally trust White's arm, DUMB. Hopefully, in the coming weeks CRR will continue to open up the game plan and take shots down the field. To me, if you really believe in the spread offense you need to do it both horizontally and vertically.

Finally, his name is Reynaud, NOT ReynaRd, you damn idiot announcers.

CRR Statewide Softball-Line

If anyone listened to the Statewide Softball-Line this evening I hope you are as pissed as I am. I always thought CRR was a man but it appears as if he is just a little girl who can't handle a tough question. I learned two things listening to the show this evening.

First, we now know that CRR is the king of the blame game. He again threw all his guys, especially Jarrett Brown, under the bus saying that they just could not execute any plays. Not only did he throw Jarret Brown under the bus he backed up the damn bus over him again and found a Syracuse sorority girl to give him herpes.

If you did not catch the comment CRR said, the clock was not an issue at the end of the game (WHAT) because they were getting the plays in faster than any coaching staff in the nation. He said Jarrett Brown just could not call the plays fast enough once they were signaled to him. CRR I say BULLSHIT ASSHOLE, you screwed up and you screwed up big time with your play calling by failing to get the ball in the hands of your play-makers. (4 touches by Slaton and Devine in the second half)

Adjusting the game plan does not make you shitty a coach it helps you to win a national title. We will continue to come up just short year in and year out unless you learn to adjust the game plan and take some blame. MAN UP

The second thing we learned is that Tony Caridi is CRR's bitch. While Tony is no Jack Fleming I still enjoy his play-by-play of the games. Tony man up and ask a tough question...PLEASE!

Things That Made Me Want To Throw My Shoe!

This weekend turned out to not be as bad as I had originally thought. Don’t you worry though I still wanted to throw a lot of shoes.

#1

CRR is one of the most arrogant and hard headed coaches in the nation. Have you noticed that he never takes any blame after a loss? It is always the players fault because they could not “execute” the heavenly play calls from the sidelines.

You know what CRR it is your damn job to call plays that give your boys a chance to “execute”. Throwing around 15 bubble screens (8 against press coverage) and not getting the ball to your playmakers does not give the players a chance to execute. It is time to get over yourself, start throwing the ball down the field against the Cover 0, and take some of the blame.

I could go on about how mad the “execution” comment by CRR made me but I need to move on (if only my high school girlfriend could do the same).

#2

How the hell do Florida and Oklahoma stay above us in the polls after losing to unranked teams? Both were more than two touchdown favorites, Florida was playing in the “The Wetlands,” and we lost to a ranked team at their place. Oh yeah I forgot that they are “traditionally” better programs so they deserve more respect and higher poll rankings.

Perception of tradition in college football is the biggest load of crap but I’m going to stop because that discussion is for another day and another bottle of whiskey.

#3

People already giving up on this team after one loss makes me want to throw both my shoes and one of Charley West’s. Does everyone forget CRR’s first season and the 19 multiple loss seasons under “The Don” Nehlen. As a fan base we all need to take a shot of moonshine, and get over it.

This Saturday I hope you all will sit down in front of your TV and cheer on the Mountaineers when they battle Syracuse Orange for the Schwartzwalder Trophy.

I’m old and my arm is starting to get tired so I’m going back to bed.

Somtimes You Just Gotta Say What The Fuck!!

Strapping young man seeking woman for one night of comfort. Must be hot, skinny, and willing to be spanked.

I am still drunk from last night so this may not be the most coherent post ever but here are some thoughts from last nights embarrassing loss.

Steve Slaton touched the ball TWICE in the second half. With one Heisman candidate on the sidelines CRR basically benched our other Heisman candidate and did not give him a chance to carry us to victory. Now we have NO Heisman candidates.

Devine only got FOUR touches the entire game. If we are not going to get the ball to our playmakers we might as well get ready for Canada come December.

This gets me to my main complaint from last night and it is with CRR. Every time they showed him on the sidelines he was jumping around like CoCo the Monkey. This is not the way a coach should carry himself when his team is trying to make a come back.

Go back and watch the Louisville game from two years ago CRR was calm, cool, and collected on the sidelines. This led us to the greatest comeback in school history. Friday night CRR looked like a damn scared idiot and his play calling is one of the main reasons we got beat. Throw the bubble screens when they play back not when they are using press coverage -- JACKASS.

We threw the ball 18 times in the first-half and 20 times in the second half. The difference was that we put it down the field in the second half where we were guaranteed some positive yardage. So to those of you who were yelling THROW THE BALL in the first half, SHUT UP, and realize you have no business talking football.

I’m going to be an asshole here but Mike Dent’s play at center is the main reason we lost this game. During the first half our offense had no timing. Pat White had to be ready for the snap to end up anywhere but in his chest.

This rushed the read option, the bubble screens, and just fucked the offense in the first half. He cost us a touchdown, two first downs, and caused two turnovers (one of which led to a USF touchdown).

All I can say is don’t give up on this team. I have faith in these kids and in CRR. We can turn this around, end up in New Orleans for the Sugar Bowl, and drink ourselves into a stupor and just pretend we are playing for the National Championship.

3 Down

Well, well, Ralphy, make that four years in a row that you have not been able to figure out the Mountaineers. This time, the Terps simply didn't have the talent or the depth to play with the Mountaineers.

Here is a delayed recap of my thoughts of the game:

First, I thought Thursday's victory was a GREAT team win. After sleep walking through the first and second series, the D really stepped up last night. I loved the pressure and man coverage. I have never had such a swing of emotion from thinking this is one of our worst D's ever to later in the same game saying well these guys are not so bad.

I see a lot of people are being hard on Pat White, who did have an off night for him yet was still pretty good. I would remind people that we wore him out against Marshall and I sure his body and mind were still not together five days last. He got really beat up last week.

As for the rising star of the game, Noel Devine. Obviously, Charley has tackled this in detail, but there is one point I would like to make. Last year, the team was limited because they didn't have enough top talent after Slaton and White. Now, with Devine, it looks like Rod can plug him in and the offense will not miss a beat. This will be huge. Last year, I don't think they put Maryland away in the third quarter liked they did this season. Why? Because of Devine. His talent alone was the difference. When you combine this with the defense, I'm officially giddy for the rest of this season.

Now comes the break with Maryland. Good thing. Because the Fridge would stand no chance next year. But right now, I'm going to enjoy this season. I hope you do too.

Click Clack

Yes, I know that the title of this post is lame. But, I gotta work up my detest towards all things Maryland. So, that includes Under Armor.

Before we get into the Terps, lets take a quick stroll back to last week.

Well, it won't be a long one. I went camping this past week and could only listen to the game. So that means you will have to rely on Charley Vest's post for a wrap up. By the way, ladies, did you catch that Charley Vest wears polo shirts to football games? Yes, he's a bit of a dandy. In addition to Vest's summation, the one thing I'm getting troubled with is Pat White's potential overuse running the football. Whenever Rod gets a little concern, he goes to White on a sweep or a draw. While White's a great security blanket, he has got to be healthy for Big East games.

Now that I have that off my chest, let's move onto the Terps.

Since Ralph Friedgen came to Maryland and turned around the program, I really, really have not liked Maryland. And with Virginia Tech deciding they would rather play a scrub team than West Virginia, Maryland has top billing on the non conference slate. Well, that is until next year when they take a 'break' on the series.

So, West Virginia must do the only proper thing. Crush 'em.

Rick Trickett Would Like You To Go Fuck Yourself

If you watched the Florida State-Clemson game last night, you were treated to a 3 hour Rick Trickett/Jimbo Fisher infomercial by ESPN. Unfortunately, Florida State's offense/defense didn't cooperate, losing 24-18.

What you also got to see was Rick Trickett absolutely berating sophomore OL Daron Rose. As plain as day, you saw Trickett drop 3 F-bombs, including the self-esteem building "fuck you" as an exclamation point.

Trickett's line was absolutely dominated by Clemson's front 4 all night. Seminole QB Charlie Weatherford sure noticed, as he was flat on his face for a lot of the night. This quote from ESPN pretty much sums things up:

Florida State stumbled through a miserable first half where it managed only one first down and 62 yards. Weatherford was under constant pressure and looked lost when he wasn't.

While only one game, I'm getting the sneaking suspicion that Coach Rich Rodriguez was the cause of our great offensive lines over the years, not Rick Trickett. I'm sure Trickett played a role, but he wasn't the end-all be-all of our running attack. That looks more and more like CRR.

62 Points Is Acceptable

...and next week, 80 is a possibility. But first, let's recap Western Michigan's beatdown.

1) We absolutely could have scored 80 points. And this wouldn't be anything like the 80 we hung on Rutgers in 2001. This was a good Western Michigan team and we embarrassed their defense. Even playing a cover-0 and stacking 9+ in the box, we racked up our usual 300+ rushing yards. If not for numerous dropped interceptions and stubborn play-calling in the first half (more on this next), this one would have been even more of a laugher.

2) The first half play-calling left a lot to be desired. CRR even said as much in the post-game presser. If teams --I don't care how good or bad they are -- are going to stack 9+ in the box, we have to throw. Pat White has the ability and accuracy to pick apart these cover-o type schemes. Sure, we threw a little bit more, but 18 total pass attempts is just not enough to keep defenses honest. This should gradually change throughout the season as we become more balanced.

3) The offensive line is not an overnight success. Sure, they played decently in the second half, but Slaton's first-half numbers (21 yards rushing) show that there is a lot of work to be done. I feel confident it will get there eventually, but it better improve before we take a step up in athleticism with Maryland two weeks away. Let's hope there is a lot of progress made during this Saturday's bye week.

4) Noel Devine is the real-deal. Witness.

5) Right now, there is a not a player in this world (past or present) that I trust more than Pat White. If we have to get it done, I have complete faith in #5. No matter what circumstances, he keeps my football Saturdays worry free. Here is one reason why:



Well, that pretty much wraps up Western Michigan. They were a scrappy team that was simply over-matched. Let's hope they go on and win the MAC to improve our SOS.

Last week's picks:

Stiles:

WVU (-24) 48
Western Michigan 17
ACTUAL: 62-24 (difference = 21 points)

Oregon State -6.5 vs. Utah (Thursday) = W
Missouri -5 vs. Illinois (in St. Louis) = W
Georgia Tech +3 @ Notre Dame = W
Virginia Tech -27.5 vs. ECU = L
BC -6.5 vs. Wake Forest = W

Season record = 5-1

Charley West:

WVU (-24) 42
Western Michigan 13
ACTUAL: 62-24 (difference = 31 points)

Syracuse +3 vs. Washington (Friday) = L
UAB +21 @ Michigan State = L
Georgia Tech +3 @ Notre Dame = W
Missouri -5 vs. Illinois (in St. Louis) = W
Colorado -2.5 vs. Colorado State (in Denver) = W

Season record = 4-2

CRR Is A Ventriloquist

He is blowing my mind. I hear him talking, but his mouth is definitely not moving.

By the way, in case you didn't know, CRR stands for Coach Rich Rodriguez. That little acronym saves me the time of typing out Coach Rich Rodriguez, because who wants to spend 10 minutes spelling out every single letter of C-O-A-C-H R-I-C-H R-O-D-R-I-G-U-E-Z.

That paragraph is 30 seconds of your life you won't get back, but spend the next 5 minutes watching this video. CRR doesn't really give a whole lot of insight, but he does cover topics such as Pat White and Steve Slaton (apparently, they're both fast) as well as Noel Devine (apparently, he's had a tough childhood).

Brandon Hogan's Heroes

Did you see what I did there? I took a regular name, Brandon Hogan, and added a word to the end and -- voila! -- a hilarious pun. Chris Berman would be very proud. You must be rolling on the floor, convulsing with laughter. Oh, you're not? You say you're not laughing at all? You're actually angry with me? Oh, OK. Let's pretend this didn't happen.

Anyhoo, Brandon Hogan is getting a lot of praise from CRR this fall camp. As you know, Rodriguez generally dislikes most his players in fall camp, at least to the media. Here is what CRR has been saying:

Of the newcomers, Hogan has probably had the most extensive background playing in a spread offense in high school. The Virginia player of the year at quarterback seems to be understanding things pretty quickly so far.

“Brandon seems to pick up our concepts really quick and he’s playing slot receiver,” Rodriguez said. “The other guys are doing a good job, too, but Brandon has kind of stood out.”

Many more high school programs are beginning to adopt the spread offense and Rodriguez says that removes some of the guess work involved in evaluating prep prospects.

“Now you find all kinds of athletic quarterbacks with the spread systems where 10 years ago you wouldn’t find that,” he said. “I think concepts help somewhat, especially at the quarterback position.

“Brandon ran a similar system in high school and a lot of the concepts I think he understands. The higher you go the more technical it gets and we probably make it too technical,” Rodriguez said.

Hogan is a smaller guy (think: Reynaud) with great athleticism (think: Reynaud) and speed (think: Reynaud). I wonder who on our team I would compare him to? Hmmm?


UPDATE: Watch for the block at the 1:10 mark, which conveniently happens during the best run of the Charlie Chaplin silent film.

[courtesy of MSNsportsNET]

The Next Chad Johnston...err, Vince Young?

Terrelle Pryor is on everyone's radar...and why shouldn't he be? At 6-6 and 210 lbs., Pryor is one of the sickest athletes in this upcoming class. He is the #1 rated QB in all-the-land (according to Scout.com). And because Pryor is a real go-getter and wasn't happy with just being good at one sport, he decided to become the #8 ranked shooting guard in America. Color me impressed.

The bad news? He's from western Pennsylvania -- Jeannette to be exact. This puts him squarely within the borders of Dave Wannstedt's "iron curtain."

(Pause for laughter.)

Luckily for WVU, Pryor is a free-market capitalist who doesn't believe in outdated bastions of communism, such as the iron curtain. Because of this, Pryor long ago eliminated Pitt from the running for his dual-sport services. Where is WVU, you may ask? In the top 7. It's not going to be an easy road, but does anyone want to bet AGAINST the best tag-team (CRR and CBH) since The Bushwackers? I wouldn't.




PS: The video ends at 1:44 but the music keeps going. The best I can tell you is sit back, relax, and enjoy the melodic musical stylings of Fort Minor. Holla.

Be Very, Very Afraid

Last year, WVU ranked 3rd in the nation in points per game and 2nd in the nation in total rushing yards. The star running back, Steve Slaton, finished 4th in the Heisman voting, while QB Pat White won Big East Offensive Player of the Year. Those are all lofty accomplishments.

How do you improve on that? Mindfuck all of college football, that's how. Somewhere, Coach Rich Rodriguez is laughing.

Enjoy/masturbate to excerpts from Joe Starkey's column on ESPN.com:

MORGANTOWN, W.Va. -- Sure, West Virginia had the third-highest scoring offense in the country last season.

That didn't mean coach Rich Rodriguez was afraid to tweak it. He even took suggestions.

"I don't know how many people sent me letters about going to the wishbone," Rodriguez said Saturday, shortly after his team's season-opening practice at Mountaineer Field. "So I said, 'The hell with it, I'm gonna do it.'"

Do it. Not really, but it would be totally awesome if you did. I prefer to humiliate opponents with plays that were invented by 1930s Army teams.

He was kidding, of course, but there is a significant change in the WVU offense -- and it can only be construed as terrible news for defensive coordinators everywhere.

The Mountaineers intend to play faster this season.

Seriously.

That much became obvious after watching 15 minutes of practice. On its first three plays from scrimmage, the offense used three wildly different formations without switching personnel.

Faster? Oh no. No. No. No. Sensory overload.

Different formations? No. Too difficult to defend. Seriously Rodriguez, we scored 38.8 points a game last year...isn't trying to score more just a tad presumptuous?

"That's the idea, so we can play fast, so we don't have to substitute and not let the other team have time to substitute," said fullback Owen Schmitt. "Just go, go, go. That's what Coach Rod wants. We can run all the way down the field and stay in the same personnel but with different formations."

OK, that's enough. We get the point: we're going to be really, really, REALLY good. At this point, I have to try my best to stay clear of epileptic seizures when reading about Mountaineer football.

** Thanks to loyal reader Amelia for the tip. **