The Curse of #2?

Want to know why WVU won't fall victim to the #2 curse of this season?

Yeah, we should be just fine.

Note: Game recap/other shenanigans coming later today.

Vanity Plate Hell

There's been a run on vanity plays to "celebrate" Pitt's 2007 sports season. Some are funny, some are cries for help. But they're all real. As real as Jessica Alba's love for me, restraining order be damned.

Save Dave: Contract Extension?

Dave Wannstedt is actually talking about a contract extension:

“I’m going to be here, I have had very good conversations with the chancellor,” an upbeat Wannstedt said yesterday.

“We’ve spoken about the direction of the program and what we are trying to accomplish, and he’s been very supportive. We are doing things the right way, but ultimately, we have to start winning some games, and nobody understands that better than I do. I know if we can get a few more good recruiting classes here, we’ll get to where we need to be.”

(Always about the future, never about the present...but I digress.)

Not only that, Panther beat writers are actually talking about an extension. And not only are they talking about it, they think it's a good idea. Here is what the Post-Gazette's Ron Cook had to say:

This is going to sound insane, but this is the time Nordenberg should be thinking about an extension for Wannstedt. Not a five- or 10-year deal, but one year. If Nordenberg believes Wannstedt still is his man, he has to do it. That would carry more weight than a vote of confidence. That wouldn’t just help Pitt’s recruiting. It would let Pittsburgh know the Pitt administration is prepared to ride out the storm with Wannstedt.

Yes, it does sound insane. Very, very insane. Bill Callahan received a 3 year contract extension earlier this year and he's most likely getting fired by the end of the season. And Callahan went to the Big 12 Championship game last season. Wannstedt, on the other hand, has not had a winning season and his 2007-model Panthers are in shambles.

Wait, forget I said any of that. Let's please talk contract extension. No seriously. This is the best thing ever. If the "Save Dave" campaign is going to succeed, we're going to have to depend on stupidly decisive leadership and eight balls of coke to keep Wannstedt as coach. Apparently, Pitt has both.

Hell, maybe if he loses more games, they'll give him more than a one year extension. I have no idea what would happen if they were placed on probation. Lifetime contract? Name the field after him? Reward him with 70 virgins in the heavens?

Either way, if news breaks about a contract extension, the Jager bombs are on me.

[courtesy of Pitt Blather]

Wannstedt Tears Achilles, Hilarity Ensues

I'm sorry. If you tell me Dave Wannstedt has torn his Achilles tendon, I'm going to laugh. There's no way around that. Call me insensitive, call me a dick -- I can't help it. Anything involving Dave Wannstedt short of him getting hit by a bus is hilarious, and even then I would think long and hard about laughing.

This is just too funny. Absolutely nothing can go right for the Oakland Zoo. Wannstedt will be forced to coach from the booth for at least the next game, maybe longer. Is it just me or does anyone else see right through this?

Think about it: time off, coaching from the booth, unplugging his headset. Surely, Pitt is just trying to get the Mustachioed Marauder as far away from this football team as possible. And who could blame them?

Closeout Wannstedt Merchandise

Surely, after last night, Dave Wannstedt has NO chance of being retained as head coach at Pitt.

That's bad news for us on two different fronts. One, it means Pitt might eventually hire a real coach capable of complex thought and problem-solving. And two, we have a lot of unsold -- and now worthless -- "Save Dave" merchandise.

Here is a sampling from our Yonkers, NY, warehouse:

Pitt's Announced Attendance: 30,103

Yeah, right.

If there were 30,103 at last night's game, then there were 30,103 at the rest of these games:

Pitt Is Worse At Football Than This

It seems appropriate, especially after this latest Pitt debacle, that we revive this series.

If you're scoring at home, this video features Rockapella, Kevin Sorbo, Razelle, jherri curls, 3 homeless guys...not to mention a musical representation of Pitt football.

Enjoy.

Save Dave, Save The World

Today is a big day in the history of the "Save Dave" campaign. As you know, Save Dave is based upon one single ideal: employing Dave Wannstedt as head coach of Pitt for all of eternity (we believe Wannstedt to be an angel from Mountaineer heaven, hence the eternity part).

Tonight, The Mustache Formerly Known As Wannstedt and his Pitt Panthers take on Navy at 8 PM on national TV. We're not sure why Pitt is on national TV, but if we've done something wrong, this certainly seems the harshest of penalties.

Either way, believe it or not, this is a game we need Pitt to win. Why, you ask? Well, if we are to be graced by Wannstedt's presence for much longer, he has to actually win some out of conference games. Since this is an out of conference game that in no way affects WVU, why not start here.

Since I can't in right mind just ask you to support Pitt football -- and you know I wouldn't -- I am instead going to bribe you. If you silently cheer for Pitt tonight and at the same time assure the continued success of Mountaineer football, I will personally send you a commemorative "Save Dave" coffee mug, which retails for $5.99 in major department stores across the nation.


And if that's not enough, I'll throw in a t-shirt at no additional value. This t-shirt is great for telling the world just how much faith you have in the Wannstedt-era.

So, go my children. Cheer for Pitt, as it is the key to future Mountaineer glory.

UPDATE: If you order in the next ten minutes, you'll also receive a limited edition "Save Dave" bumper sticker.


NOTE: Look forward to a live blog of the monumental Navy @ Pitt matchup tonight at 8. 5th Year Senior and your main man Charley West will be on the ones and twos.

Yeah, This Pretty Much Sums Up Pitt Football

You have to watch for a little while, but here's what happens:

1. Celtic scores rebound goal.
2. Scottish announcers have an unintelligible conversation about said goal.
3. Celtic supporter runs onto pitch and viciously assaults Milan's goalkeeper.
3. Fan runs onto the field, touches goalkeeper, goalkeeper gets sand in his vagina and falls down.



How does this NOT remind you of Pitt football? I mean seriously. Both found the fetal position at the first sign of danger.

Save Dave

It all started in 2002 B.U. (Before Urban), when a plucky group of Florida fans had the simple dream to get a coach fired. In the years afterward, Fire Ron Zook exploded, becoming the head of an angry mob of Gator fans. While the website might not be singularly responsible, that doesn’t change the fact that Ron Zook was, indeed, fired.

Unfortunately, now, the proliferation of these websites has hit massive proportions. Lose one game and you’re on the hot seat. Lose two games and you have your very own pro-unemployment website. Alabama fans are already (tongue-in cheek?) calling for Coach Nick Saban’s dismissal. Hell, for the low-low price of $250, you can be the proud owner of your own Fire Rich Rodriguez domain.

Well, here at WBGV, we just don’t think this is right. Hell, a lot of these coaches that fans want fired have helped WVU to a ton of victories over the years. We have a vested interest in these coaches collecting a paycheck, regardless of their success or learning disabilities.

That is why we are starting our own grassroots campaign, entitled “Save Dave.” Save Dave is a campaign with one mission and one mission alone: keeping Dave Wannstedt in his job as head coach of the University of Pittsburgh.

As head coach of Pitt, Wannstedt has single-handedly taken the Panthers from inherited BCS talent to top 5 recruiting classes to losing to Ohio and UConn. He has also lost to WVU every year he has been at Pitt. Because of this, Dave Wannstedt is my best friend. And everybody wants to see their best friend in a high-paying job. And there are few jobs more high-paying than head coach of a BCS football program.

You, like me, want to see Dave Wannstedt as head coach. Don’t blindly go along with the masses and accept his eventual firing. Fight the man! Keep this bumbling idiot as head coach. We at WBGV are willing to pay his salary if need be…anything to keep this mustachioed, brain-dead, shell of a man as head coach of the Pitt Panthers.

Will you join us?

Will you help “Save Dave"...?

Oakland Is In Flames

Pitt football is in a sorry state. Sure, we make fun of them win or lose, but to up and get blown out by UConn is really doing my job for me. Like shooting fish in a barrel, if that's your thing. I'm not much of a sportsman.

This has been especially hard (or fun to watch) on Pitt fans as a group. As an example, the friendly people over at Pitt Blather are really starting to unravel emotionally. I feel that this is pretty indicative of Panthers fans as a whole. Let's consider, for a moment, the five stages of grief as they relate to Pitt football:

1. Denial. This has been happening since day 1 of the Wannstedt-era. The highly rated recruiting classes were the #1 culprit. Every year, Pitt fans would tout their newest acquisitions as the sole reason why Pitt football would be back on the map. "Sure you beat us by 40 this year, but we just signed Joe Montana and Lawrence Taylor." Everything was in the future for Pitt fans. Nothing ever happened in the present. Except losses.


2. Anger. Early on, the recruiting classes and Wannstedt's resume were enough to get Pitt fans through the night. That all changed last year. As the losses mounted, the natives started getting restless. Continually missing bowl games, amazingly lackluster attendance, and getting spanked by WVU every year were starting to take their toll. Pitt fans were officially upset.


3. Bargaining. Two words: Pat Bostick. Two more words: LaSean McCoy. Pitt fans invested their entire lives into these kids. "I promise I'll start going to games if Bostick/McCoy signs. We'll be awesome if that happens." Classic bargaining.


4. Depression. I believe depression officially set-in this past weekend against UConn. There was false hope as the team opened up the season 2-0. But an anemic offensive performance against Michigan State and an embarrassment against UConn were enough to make mustachioed West-Penners slit their wrists.


5. Acceptance. This brings us back to Pitt Blather. They have finally accepted their fate of Pitt football as it currently stands, or sits, or cowers in the fetal position. Many Pitt fans probably haven't reached this stage of defeat yet, but they will in due time. Because right now, they're just fooling themselves.

It's almost sad to see what Pitt football has become. Almost. While WVU is aiming at the highest reaches of college football, Pitt is begging for spare change from the UConns of the world. If you're a Pitt fan, it's enough to make you puke.

Then again, just being a Pitt fan is enough to make me puke.

What Do Pitt Football And This Monstrosity Have In Common?

Ladies and gentlemen, shield your eyes. In good conscience, I can't say that Pitt football is worse than this. That would be a lie.

Let's just say they are equally as bad.

Bill Stull Spared From Pitt's Season

Bill Stull is out indefinitely after tearing ligaments in his throwing hand this past Saturday. As the article states, this is a similar injury that Brian Brohm suffered last year. Brohm only missed 2 games, but speculation is that Stull will be sideline for longer, possibly the entire season.

PITTSBURGH -- Pitt quarterback Bill Stull is out indefinitely after needing surgery Sunday to repair a ligament injury in his right thumb that occurred during his first college start.

The injury is similar to that sustained a year ago by Louisville quarterback Brian Brohm, who missed two games after being hurt during an early season game against Miami.

Stull, a junior from Pittsburgh, was hurt when his thumb was bent backward on a handoff during the third quarter of a 24-3 victory over Eastern Michigan on Saturday night.

I don't want to go ahead and call Pitt's 2007 season a train wreck, but I will call it a car wreck, mostly because it's hard to get into a police chase in a train.

Pitt Football: An Interpretive Dance

In the interest of full disclosure, this isn't meant to be an interpretive dance. It's actually a guy running in a 3000m steeplechase, which is not a dance at all.

But if one would choreograph an interpretive dance representing Pitt's 2007 football season, I think it would look a lot like this. Except with more pain. And uglier uniforms. And more mustaches.

Wannstedt Agrees

Friday night was a good night. Dave Wannstedt, or D-Wan as I like to call him, invited me over to his pad to watch the 2007 Miss Teen USA pageant. Yeah, I thought it was a bit pervy too, but hey, if they're putting it on TV, they have to expect us to watch it.

So, anyways, D-Wan and I are watching this spank bank show and Miss South Carolina is up to give her answer in the final portion of the pageant. She looks good, she's got a great accent, and everything is set for her to take the blue ribbon (or whatever the fuck they win). Unfortunately, her answer made me forget how to read.

But Dave respected her and thought she made some really good points. Almost immediately, he tried to log onto the Internet using his Colecovision and tried to buy 30 shares of Rand McNally. He said to keep this a secret, but he also said he was going to use excerpts of this answer in his pre-game speech. I, of course, told him that this was a master-stroke of genius and encouraged in wholeheartedly.

Later that night, he made s'mores and we egged Greg Robinson's house. All in all, a great night.

Pitt Used To Be Good At Football

...and Britney Spears used to not be a whore. Actually, she always was a whore, it just hadn't surfaced yet. Just like Pitt.

Dave Wannstedt Coaches Pretty Much Like This

Ladies And Gentleman: A Pitt Fan

Don't make fun of the retard.
Don't make fun of the retard.
Don't make fun of the retard.
Don't make fun of the retard.
Don't make fun of the retard.
Don't make fun of the retard.
Don't make fun of the retard.
Don't make fun of the retard.
Don't make fun of the retard.
Don't make fun of the retard.
Don't make fun of the retard.
Don't make fun of the retard.

(Wait for it.)

(Wait for it.)

OK, now.

My New Homepage

This is the greatest site of all time. Go there, worship, and be reborn.

Note: There is a LOT of sound.

Bigger Clusterfuck: This.................Or Pitt Football?

Where is Godzilla when you need him?