It's Hump Day, Get It?

I might be a little busy this morning, so this should keep you going for an hour or two...

Wannstedt Agrees

Friday night was a good night. Dave Wannstedt, or D-Wan as I like to call him, invited me over to his pad to watch the 2007 Miss Teen USA pageant. Yeah, I thought it was a bit pervy too, but hey, if they're putting it on TV, they have to expect us to watch it.

So, anyways, D-Wan and I are watching this spank bank show and Miss South Carolina is up to give her answer in the final portion of the pageant. She looks good, she's got a great accent, and everything is set for her to take the blue ribbon (or whatever the fuck they win). Unfortunately, her answer made me forget how to read.

But Dave respected her and thought she made some really good points. Almost immediately, he tried to log onto the Internet using his Colecovision and tried to buy 30 shares of Rand McNally. He said to keep this a secret, but he also said he was going to use excerpts of this answer in his pre-game speech. I, of course, told him that this was a master-stroke of genius and encouraged in wholeheartedly.

Later that night, he made s'mores and we egged Greg Robinson's house. All in all, a great night.

Pitt Used To Be Good At Football

...and Britney Spears used to not be a whore. Actually, she always was a whore, it just hadn't surfaced yet. Just like Pitt.

Jack Fleming Is Huge In The Supermodel Crowd

Which classic game do you think she's listening to?

• Maybe the classic Halloween intro to '86 Penn State?
  
• How about "The Run" by Major against Penn State in '88?
• Maybe even Robert Walker beating Miami in 1993?

Either way, she's looking good doing it.

My Apologies For A Slow Day

For the 7 people who read this blog, you should appreciate the slow days. 1) You don't have to read what I consider to be funny; and 2) I try to buy your love with good looking women.

Well, since today is a slow day, here is my gift to you:


PS: I have no idea why I included the "It's Palko Time" tag either. For some reason, it just sounds dirty.

I Deliver On My Promise, Sorta

Yesterday I promised pictures of cheerleaders to make up for a poorly executed Rosie O'Donnell joke. Well, instead of cheerleaders, here is an advertisement for Sports Illustrated, which I read for the articles. Enjoy.


Is it just me or does the half-naked supermodel distract from the SI logo?

Hot Girls and Douchebags

Remember the USC Song Girls video done by CSTV posted on this site two weeks ago? Well, this is the UGA version. It has the same blueprint for success: hot cheerleaders in hot cheerleader outfits calling themselves student-athletes, blah, blah, blah. But this time, they get the male cheerleaders involved in the video.

I don't want to spoil it for you, but the greatest quote by a male cheerleader comes at the 1:15 mark. Enjoy.

R.I.P. 2007 Pitt Football Season

Just a few days ago, we delivered a touching eulogy to Marshall's 2007 football season. Today, we have the pleasure of doing the same for Pitt's upcoming season. The reason? All Big-EAST receiver and general nancy Derek Kinder has torn his ACL. Hit me with it Paul Zeise:

Pitt standout senior wide receiver Derek Kinder is out for the season because of a torn ACL in his right knee.

Mr. Kinder, who led the Panthers in receptions (57) and receiving yards (847) last season, injured his knee during Saturday evening's practice when he was making a cut after catching the ball. He is expected to have surgery within the next week and then begin rehabilitation, which is a process that generally takes at six months. That means he will redshirt this season and return next season for his final year of eligibility.

Don't get me wrong, Pitt's season was screwed long before this injury. This is just the last metaphorical nail in the metaphorical coffin. At least, I think, I'm not very good with metaphoricals.

Pitt now is left with no quarterback (it's NOT Palko time!), no running back (unless you count the freshman McCoy, which I'm not) and now no wide receiver. This is going to end very, very badly.

[thanks to J.Pizzy for the tip]

We Wish We Were In Business 6 Months Ago

This is Becca Manns.

She used to cheer for Louisville. I have no idea why she doesn't cheer for Louisville anymore.

Maybe she just didn't feel like cheering anymore...kinda like Forrest Gump and running. Or maybe it was the nude photographs plastered across the Internet from her own digital camera. Yeah -- maybe that was it.

Like I said, this is old news. These leaked to the Internet over 6 months ago. But as you know, we weren't in business 6 months ago. So I missed out. Well, since it's my blog and I can do whatever I want, I'm posting them again. To be honest with you, I shouldn't need an excuse to post naked photos of Louisville cheerleaders. It's my God-given right. So there.

Remember, these are very NSFW...unless you work in a strip club, whore house, or the Colorado football recruiting office. In that case, go nuts.

[courtesy of oddsnark.com]

T-Minus 4 Weeks and Counting

Western Michigan's demise is only a short 4 weeks away. Marshall's demise is only 5 weeks away. My perma-erection for the 2007 season is only 2 weeks away. This is a good thing.

I was all set to celebrate 4 weeks until football season with a picture of Western Michigan's cheerleaders. Then, I thought to myself, "do I actually want to see Western Michigan's cheerleaders?" Surely they can't hold a candle to the hotties from Eastern Michigan (disclosure: cheerleaders from Eastern Michigan may or may not be hot...probably not). So, instead, enjoy the Song Girls from USC. Chances are we will get to seem them up close and personal in New Orleans in January.



There are some ugly women and douchebags interviewed in this video, so do yourself a favor and hit mute. And by douchebag, I mean Pete Carroll.