Ladies and gentlemen, the Secretary Of Agriculture.
Ladies and gentlemen, the orange crop estimates for the next year. After calculating the estimates from various orange producing states, we have concluded the following: The cold winter has apparently not affected the orange harvest. Consumers can expect orange juice prices to fall...
Man, that headline has it all. And so do the pictures. Apparently, after UK had scored to go up 7-0 in the first quarter against Florida, the general rules of decorum were suspended briefly at Commonwealth Stadium.
Here's the deal. 8:00 mark, 1st quarter, UK up a touchdown. Most people celebrate with high-fives and rocksplosions.
But the couple in front of me...not so much. They celebrate by straight up finger-banging. that's how we roll in the bluegrass.
My girlfriend alerted me first of this hot public action. Then the chick to my left elbowed me pointing with disgust at the table-turning in the pants. (Apparently women can hear other women's belt buckle coming undone.)
Then, basically, me and 32 others in the section watched with shock-and-awe for the next 3 minutes as this M.I.L.F. got her shit on.
Oh. Hell. Yes. I may be a lot of things, but I am most definitely a man that would unabashedly marvel at a girl getting fingered at a football game. I might would absolutely borrow an older gentleman's binoculars just to get a better look. This is the best story of the year, by far.
At the same time, though, it makes me sad. There I was, busy checking things off my "Fucking Awesome Things To Do At A Football Game" list and now I have to add something to the bottom. Oh well, I'm still young.
Here is the urbandictionary.com submission I just made for the "Kentucky Waterfall"...
kentucky waterfall
The ultimate in hair-styling excellence. Classic business in the front look transitions gracefully into a party in the back waterfall, Kentucky style. Usually accompanied by Little E t-shirt, jean shorts, conviction record, beaten wife, and no more than 9 teeth.
Not to be confused with the Kentucky Virgin, though the two are not mutually exclusive.
Example: The front of my Kentucky Waterfall says I work at the local Sunoco, but the back says I am addicted to meth.
Here at West BY GOD Virginia, we're just three guys who wanted to start their own blog about WVU and the Mountaineers. At the same time, we enjoy gratuitous pictures of hot chicks, unneeded cursing, and verbally (and pictorially) killing our opponents' players, coaches, and fans. It's the American dream.
