Step #1: Point; Step #2: Laughter

Names and faces have been disguised to protect the innocent. Lord knows it's not the Cardinal's anonymous bird's fault.

Breakfast

Louisville Is Depressed

Earlier today, I went through the 5 stages of grief and how they applied to Pitt football. It was a mind-blowing (read: pointless) experience.

Well, this afternoon, I checked out Card Chronicle, a very good, informative, and T&A-free Louisville blog. While Pitt Blather may already be in stage 5 -- remember, they've had years of Wannstedt to prepare for this -- Louisville fans are still only in stage 4, depression. Steve Kragthorpe has come at them like a golden hurricane of awful.

It's kind of sad, actually. In fact, I sent them a prescription of Prozac that I bought illegally from Eastern Europe as a token of my condolence. Anything to help a program that has just gone up in flames.

Ladies And Gentleman: A Pitt Fan

Don't make fun of the retard.
Don't make fun of the retard.
Don't make fun of the retard.
Don't make fun of the retard.
Don't make fun of the retard.
Don't make fun of the retard.
Don't make fun of the retard.
Don't make fun of the retard.
Don't make fun of the retard.
Don't make fun of the retard.
Don't make fun of the retard.
Don't make fun of the retard.

(Wait for it.)

(Wait for it.)

OK, now.

I Would Have Bought You Guys A Laptop...Or At Least An Atari

OK, when this news broke a few days ago, I wanted it to go away. I even did what I always do when the bad things happen: I got in bed and didn't get out. Sure I got fired from RadioShack and my online girlfriend left me, but at least I didn't have to deal with anything really troubling.

(Actually, I got up to look at porn and drink a Capri Sun. But then it was right back to bed.)

Of course I am talking about the arrest/suspension/general douchebaggery of J.T. Thomas and Ellis Lankster. Both were expected to be starters. Now both are looking at jail time. Fantastic. Is it too late to get Perlo Bastien another year of eligibility?

I realize that last statement isn't funny, but it's hard to be funny when all you have in your life is a blog, your parent's basement, porn and Capri Sun.

Actually, that's a lie. This is the fucking life. Minus the arrested/suspended players, of course.